Sunday, September 1, 2019

From Impartation to a Psychiatric Nightmare- Part 5

Chaz being pinned
In my last post I asked the question, how did we get from a bible study, to impartations, and now a son in psychiatric care?  How can something as simple as an impartation lead to this?  What had I gotten myself into?  Even more, how was I so easily deceived?  Was it the flashing lights of signs and wonders?  It was exciting and new!

One day to my horror we found out Chaz was transferred from Phoenix Children's to an unknown location.  Even worse, he was transferred by police escort.  My son was considered a danger even though he never laid a finger on anyone.  Being he was 18, my hands felt tied.  I remember it being late at night by the time I tracked him down.  He was at an urgent psychiatric ward to stabilize him until they could find another place.  I felt so helpless because he was an adult and all I had was Medical Power of Attorney.  I desperately wanted him out of there but by this time he was so tormented and out of control, I didn't even know how we'd be able to handle it.  

I grabbed my papers from the file and headed late at night to the ward.  I'd do anything whether it was waiting outside the doors to sitting in the rain.  Just to be as close as I could to Chaz. I saw a buzzer at the front door in a downtown building in a shady area and pressed the button.  Thankfully, someone answered and said that Chaz was indeed there and they are just working to stabilize him.  They PROMISED me that I could come at 7am when it opens and speak to a nurse about his care and they'd listen.  I was happy with that and walked away exhausted, into my van, and drove home.  I curled up in my bed and cried.

The next morning I waited with my legal documents by the front door and the second the door opened I was inside asking to speak to someone.  A man came out who seemed compassionate, thank goodness, and spoke to me about how they are stabilizing him.  To my amazement he told me they were IMMEDIATELY taking Chaz off the Zoloft.  He asked me why in the world the hospital was keeping him on it being he showed every side effect possible.  I replied, "thank you SO MUCH!"  I knew he was in safe hands and hoped and prayed this was the answer.  I knew it didn't answer everything but at least to emotionally stabilize him, I was grateful for that.  He did alert me that this was a temporary place and eventually he'd have to transfer elsewhere.  Well, my son may be 18 but at his state, he was extremely gullible.  I hoped they wouldn't send him to an adult facility where he would be in danger by other patients. 

Two days later the ward called and said it wasn't a good place for him and they'd probably be transferring him to another facility.  I asked what he was doing wrong.  He was offering to pray for people and share scripture with them.  It was too invasive.  What???  Yes, in his psychosis state he was a bit obsessive but he wasn't aggressive in anyway or hurting anyone.  I looked up the facility and was horrified.  It was one of the worst in the state and was not safe for him there.

After that phone call I put my face into my blanket and screamed and cried at God.  "Why, God?!  Why??!!"  I didn't want my kids to hear me sob.  So I dried my eyes for the hundredth time.

I raced back to the facility to ask to speak to the nurses.  Thankfully, this time two ladies sat down with me and asked a lot of questions.  They were extremely compassionate and asked me to get guardianship of Chaz so I can choose a facility. They asked me where I DIDN'T want Chaz and I told them. They promised me they'd keep him away from there.  Thank goodness!  Oh, how I ached to give Chaz a hug but wasn't allowed to even see him while he was admitted there.

Eventually I got a call that he had been transferred and to my relief it was a beautiful facility and it was for month long care.  Now, if only we can see a change in Chaz for the better as this place also agreed that Zoloft had been hurting Chaz.  They said the longer Chaz was off of these meds, the better he'd get.  Oh man, and we were praying.  At this new facility they said I could come do an intake and be with Chaz for two hours.  I raced there with his belongings, locked up my personal stuff in a locker, and anxiously waited in a white, blank room to see my him.  Chaz came walking in a few minutes later and we held each other for a long time.  Finally, I could see where Chaz was mentally and evaluate him myself. 

Chaz was like a young child on psychosis.  I could see he was better, much better, but still healing.  He wanted to dance with me and hug a lot.  He obsessively talked about the same subject over and over.  We laughed and hugged together closely with a nurse in the room. She asked me many questions.  I was horrified when she told me that Zoloft did so much damage to him that it could be permanent.  We wouldn't really know until time showed us the changes.  Would I ever have my Chaz back?  Chaz was still seeing things and these were the SAME BEINGS as he was seeing in the other hospital. Okay, so it's not all psychosis that was causing this.  He literally had a woman talking to him and she followed him to this place. Now I'm ticked because this demon was messing with my son's head big time.  He was too weak physically, emotionally, and mentally to fight it. He was extremely confused. How and why was a woman named Elizabeth claiming to be his spirit wife and how was this door opened?  I have picture evidence of this along with video but am not going share for Chaz's privacy.

They brought in food for Chaz and the one area his brain was stuck on was his diet.  He's always heard me talk about eating healthy and he absolutely refused to eat anything with carbs in it.  Chaz was extremely skinny and I had to show him each item on his tray and what vitamins were in it.  I also explained that some carbs are good, we just shouldn't eat in excess.  The nurses had trouble getting him to eat but I told them to just do the same and he'll eat.  When I left my heart broke being torn away from him again.  My visiting time was up and I was told I could only see him on certain days within a certain time.  Talking time on the phone was extremely limited but I always called him right on time to get every minute I could.

One night I got a call from the nurses that Chaz had to be given a shot. He had woken up to someone touching him and "violating him."  I asked the nurse if she was absolutely sure that no one went into his room and touched him. She was offended and replied that there was a camera in the room and she saw nothing. Chaz was very angry and was pounding the walls.  He knows for a FACT he was violated.  Being there was video evidence nothing happened in the room, I knew it was spiritual. He later told me it's happened several times since but he now realizes what it was.  We couldn't wait to get Chaz out so we could take him to the Arizona Deliverance Center.  (Once he was out and taken to this place, he was delivered and has not seen Elizabeth since.)

Several weeks later Chaz was released into our care.  We were VERY worried he would not be able to handle the stress in our home.  We are a large family with 9 children in our home and we foster 4.  Chaz was still healing and my parents stepped up and offered their home as a temporary place.  Wow, we were incredibly grateful and I knew the quiet would be very good for him.  He was also on several different types of meds for mental issues.

Now, think about this.  Here is a picture of my son in his right mind, happy, playing sports with his dad not long before this all went down.

Now imagine watching this normal, sweet boy go from fun, loving God, having spiritual gifts as described only in the bible, to attending an impartation and from THAT NIGHT on, a fast decline in health, metal health, and demonic gifts.  Add a visual nightmare of seeing demons and hearing voices.  How would you handle it when it's everywhere you look and people telling you, "Oh, this is normal and you're being attacked because you're doing something right.  The devil is just mad."  No, this is from opening ourselves up to a garbage counterfeit of the Holy Spirit and we no longer wanted any part of it.


JUST before this all came down this is Chaz reading the bible too me, completely in his right mind.  This is him and I doing a bible study in his room.

Once this door was opened this is what Chaz got (below).

Chaz pinned down on bed
To this.....

Chaz in catatonic state and not able to respond

extreme weightless and PYCHOSIS...

Chaz extremely skinny
If you're wondering what harm not searching scripture and KNOWING what the bible says about what you see happening in your church that's new and exciting, it DOES matter.  It matters and spiritual warfare is REAL.  If you can't find it in the scriptures, don't let someone tell you what I was told.... 

Isaiah 43:19 New Living Translation (NLT)

For I am about to do something new.

    See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?

This scripture was misquoted to me and taken out of context in order to explain what we were seeing that was exciting and NEW.  

When I questioned some of these things I immediately saw this on their facebook page, the same day. I started noticing that a lot of mentions were made on their facebook page right after we would have personal conversations.  Just polite conversations, not anything controversial   Just me asking questions.  I especially started to notice it was becoming almost a daily thing.  Posted responses to questions I had.  This was more of a sign to me that asking questions is not considered appropriate and rather than using scripture as a response, it was always just a phrase.  In fact, as I was studying more about NAR preachers, they were using mainly stories about how great their ministry was and they used lots of phrases.  The focus seemed to be less and less on Jesus and more and more on how great they were.  

Common responses when you question NAR teachings or any false doctrine
I remember asking why God found so much favor with some people that they could literally ask God what to eat for lunch and He'd answer clearly.  Why is it that I could never hear his voice as clearly as they could on tiny, simple matters?  Almost like they were highly favored and I was just a deacon in the church with no spiritual gifts.  I felt pretty low at times wondering why I could never have back and forth conversations like He was right next to me.  Is my faith that low?  Am I lacking as a Christian and they were just so much better?  Okay, I know some people have gifts others don't but these long conversations and joking around with God in their head seemed strange to me.  

Bay revival is the SAME as the old Brownsville revival from before.
Just a different name

The day I realized what I had gotten into disappointed me greatly for so many reasons and almost SHATTERED my faith.  Today I saw this quote and I realized why I so quickly fell into this new movement that's actually not really new.  Satan just has a way of taking old tricks and tagging a new name on it.  In every step of that bible study, to the impartation at Fresh Start Church with Nathan Morris, I should have had discernment.  The bible is my instruction.  But instead of looking into God's word, I took a shortcut and trusted a friend.  Even after feeling a check in my heart.

After falling down and bleeding, emotionally and spiritually speaking, I got up, wiped myself off, picked up God's word and studied it to find where I went wrong and how far I had gone off the path. To my dismay, I had followed flashing lights and I knew, this is exactly how Christians would be deceived.  By a movement that is a counterfeit, and I had easily fallen for it.  In shame I wanted to hide and not tell my story.  

And I wouldn't have until I realized I needed to warn others...


  1. Thank you so much for sharing this, i praying Chaz is better. I believe these NAR folk are what Jesus warned us of.. I wish more folk would be Bereans and test everything against scripture...

    1. Thank you for reading this and your comment. :) I definitely should have tested it to scripture. Lesson learned, for sure.

  2. Wow! Thank you for sharing! Your family will be in my prayers
    The Lord saved me from these things, not before I went sideways on my walk for awhile, but He pulled me out! Praise Jesus!

  3. I went through something similar with my son living with autism and intellectual disabilities. It was nothing to do with religion or NAR ( I am a lifelong cradle Roman Catholic Christian) it was my son getting a TBI ( traumatic brain injury) from his Celexa ( a similar SSRI antidepressant to Zoloft) being increased from 2mgs daily ( which he had been on from 2nd grade until he was 15) to 10 mgs daily. He was 15, and he ended up extremely violent and agressive AFTER this medication change. It took him almost 3 years to recover from this! We live in Virginia, and he became so violent and agressive after this medication change, that he had to spend a year in Florida, at a neurological treatment center, then 4 mths in Richmond ( the doctors thought he would be there for 3 years minimum but a miracle happened I could explain in private to you but not on here!) until he finally made to a local group home and private day school called Grafton 30 minutes from my home in Winchester , Va. From there he could FINALLY have home visits to be able to transition back home! He was FINALLY discharged here at home 3 days before his 18th birthday this past May 2019! He is STILL attending the Private Grafton Day School and our County is pay3 for this and also provides daily transportation for him! So Praise God! People HAVE to be wary and warned of THESE potential dangers of what thry consider"low level mild SSRI antidepressants! For our son it was the Celexa he had this reaction to, and it was the Zoloft that he was ABLE to tolerate SAFELY to eventually stabilize him. However, WE LOST ALMOST 3 YEARS WITH OUR CHILD WHERE HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HOME SAFELY WITH HIS FAMILY!! THIS TIME WITH HIM CANNOT EVER BE GIVEN BACK TO YS!! GOD BLESS Y'ALL AND FOR THE RECOVERY OF YOUR SON! XOXO


Comment kindly, my friends. :)

Dangers of Foster Care

  Not enough people talk about this .... but I want to. I think it's important that kids in foster care are given a home but this foster...